Before moving to the UK, I had a month full of farewell lunches, dinners, and bonfires. Many were with friends and family with whom I knew it would be difficult to part. Some were with friends with whom I hadn't spoken in far too long. Honestly, it was a lot more enjoyable than you might expect. It was sad, of course, but I got to remind everyone I love just how much I love them. Sometimes it's easier to do that when saying good bye than when saying hello.
On a side note, we never actually say "Good bye." I mean those actual words. They sound way too final, and a little bit creepy. We'll come close, with a "Bye" and a "Bye Bye," but that's generally it. Maybe it's just me, but while I refer to saying "Good bye," I'm really lying because those words never come out. "Take care" is my preferred farewell phrase.
Parting with family and my closest friends was, of course, the most difficult. The truth is, I didn't do it just once. I spoke with Mom and Dad every couple days, and Tommy nearly as often. I saw Billy nearly everyday during that last week. With the people that really love you, it's nearly impossible to say good bye, because they're always there helping every step of the way. They never seemed to take my departure personally, and I am not sure they even knew how afraid I was that they would. Billy, Jen, Bryan, Brittni, and Jessy (known in my head as Clan Sammons) shared meals with me multiple times in the days leading up to my departure, threw a party for me, offered every imaginable form of help in preparing my move, and it reminded me that I was really a part of two families. I never came out and said I needed help or that I wanted to spend every possible minute with them that I could. They just knew it and saved me from having to ask.
Sometimes, I keep very much to myself. I forget to call home. I forget to make time to see Billy and Jen. I get too busy for a hello. When it came time for a good bye, I couldn't say it enough. Something is backward there.
It happened with many people. I had forgotten to say hello to so many people until I needed to say good bye. I had to see Shawn and Erica again, and not just because I knew Dogfish Head would be involved. I had to see Angel again. I had to see Betsy. I had to see Jane. I desperately wanted to see George, but timing didn't work out there. I called up Tracy for the first time in years. It reminded me just how many special and wonderful people I had in my life and just how easy it was to lose touch. Maybe good byes are easier because you generally only have to do it once. Hellos are open-ended. However, these good byes were different, because they brought people back into my life that I dearly missed. I guess that's one of the unexpected benefits of moving to another chapter in life.
Many former students found me as well. If you remember Mr. Holland's Opus, you remember the final scene when all the students he inspired and helped came back at one time to remind him of what he'd done. That scene is designed to make teachers cry uncontrollably. I feel like I had a small version of that. Every former student that contacted me, joined me for lunch, and even got me going away presents made me swell with ridiculous pride. There were people that happened to be in town from Ohio, Wisconsin, San Diego, and Australia. I have used the line "When you earn more money than me, you can buy the meal" many times, and now I had a couple that actually held me to it now that they were well employed. I got to see people making a positive impact on the world all over the world, and they came back to tell me that I helped make that possible. Some graduated 10 years ago, some this year, and a few came rushing back to my classroom the day after I announced my departure on Facebook. One was in tears. If I ever doubt for a second that I'm doing something worthwhile, I'm reminding myself of those lunches, those coffees, those tears. I'll think of all those wonderful people who came back to say hello one more time before they had to say good bye.
Good byes don't have to suck. They can actually bring people back into your life. But they also remind you that you didn't have to wait this long to pick up the phone.
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